Introduction:

We are seeing King David as a man with two major roles.  He was a remarkable ruler and military leader, but he was also a man who had significant struggles as a father.

This passage describes how Joab, King David’s military commander, orchestrates a plan to reconcile David with his estranged son, Absalom.

Here again, David leaves the initiative to others.

Both Joab and Jonadab, David’s nephews, have been giving counsel to David or his sons. I am suggesting that this is counsel that should have been coming from God to David.

James 1:5 NLT
⁵ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 

Psalm 32:8 NLT
The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. 

James 3:17 NLT
¹⁷ But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

 

2 Samuel 14:1-20 NLT
Joab Arranges for Absalom’s Return
^14:1 Joab realized how much the king longed to see Absalom. ² So he sent for a woman from Tekoa who had a reputation for great wisdom. He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning; wear mourning clothes and don’t put on lotions. Act like a woman who has been mourning for the dead for a long time. ³ Then go to the king and tell him the story I am about to tell you.” Then Joab told her what to say.
⁴ When the woman from Tekoa approached the king, she bowed with her face to the ground in deep respect and cried out, “O king! Help me!”
⁵ “What’s the trouble?” the king asked.
“Alas, I am a widow!” she replied. “My husband is dead. ⁶ My two sons had a fight out in the field. And since no one was there to stop it, one of them was killed. ⁷ Now the rest of the family is demanding, ‘Let us have your son. We will execute him for murdering his brother. He doesn’t deserve to inherit his family’s property.’ They want to extinguish the only coal I have left, and my husband’s name and family will disappear from the face of the earth.”
⁸ “Leave it to me,” the king told her. “Go home, and I’ll see to it that no one touches him.”
⁹ “Oh, thank you, my lord the king,” the woman from Tekoa replied. “If you are criticized for helping me, let the blame fall on me and on my father’s house, and let the king and his throne be innocent.”
¹⁰ “If anyone objects,” the king said, “bring him to me. I can assure you he will never harm you again!”
¹¹ Then she said, “Please swear to me by the Lord your God that you won’t let anyone take vengeance against my son. I want no more bloodshed.”
“As surely as the Lord lives,” he replied, “not a hair on your son’s head will be disturbed!”
¹² “Please allow me to ask one more thing of my lord the king,” she said.“Go ahead and speak,” he responded.
¹³ She replied, “Why don’t you do as much for the people of God as you have promised to do for me? You have convicted yourself in making this decision, because you have refused to bring home your own banished son. ¹⁴ All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him.
¹⁵ “I have come to plead with my lord the king because people have threatened me. I said to myself, ‘Perhaps the king will listen to me ¹⁶ and rescue us from those who would cut us off from the inheritance God has given us. ¹⁷ Yes, my lord the king will give us peace of mind again.’ I know that you are like an angel of God in discerning good from evil. May the Lord your God be with you.”
¹⁸ “I must know one thing,” the king replied, “and tell me the truth.”
“Yes, my lord the king,” she responded.
¹⁹ “Did Joab put you up to this?”
And the woman replied, “My lord the king, how can I deny it? Nobody can hide anything from you. Yes, Joab sent me and told me what to say. ²⁰ He did it to place the matter before you in a different light. But you are as wise as an angel of God, and you understand everything that happens among us!”

Examine the Scriptures

2 Samuel 14:1-20 NLT
Joab Arranges for Absalom’s Return 

^14:1 Joab realized how much the king longed to see Absalom. 

2 Samuel 13:39 NLT
³⁹ And King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom.

• Joab, David’s military commander, and nephew, notices the king’s longing for Absalom but understands that David is unwilling to take the first step in reconciliation.

Here again, David leaves the initiative to others.

In verse 7 the parable that Joab made up implies that there may be strong exterior forces, public opinion, that made David hesitant to pardon his son.

⁷ Now the rest of the family is demanding, ‘Let us have your son. We will execute him for murdering his brother. He doesn’t deserve to inherit his family’s property.’

Here the role of the king would have been different than the role of a father.

Joab may have been motivated by a concern for the political implications of the unresolved dispute between David and the son in line for the throne.

I’m surprised that it wasn’t Jonadab intervening to get something going between David and Absalom. 

² So he sent for a woman from Tekoa who had a reputation for great wisdom.

• Joab devises a plan to have Absalom reconciled with his father David.

Tekoa is in the Judean hills about 7-10 miles south of Jerusalem, near Bethlehem.

He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning; wear mourning clothes and don’t put on lotions. Act like a woman who has been mourning for the dead for a long time. ³ Then go to the king and tell him the story I am about to tell you.” Then Joab told her what to say. 

Basically, Joab brings in an actress who shares a story with David that Joab made up which mirrors David’s situation.

• Joab brings in an actress who shares a story with David that Joab made up. 

⁴ When the woman from Tekoa approached the king, she bowed with her face to the ground in deep respect and cried out, “O king! Help me!”

⁵ “What’s the trouble?” the king asked. 

This woman is clearly a good actor and is able to tell a convincing story. 

“Alas, I am a widow!” she replied. “My husband is dead. ⁶ My two sons had a fight out in the field. And since no one was there to stop it, one of them was killed. ⁷ Now the rest of the family is demanding, ‘Let us have your son. We will execute him for murdering his brother.

Numbers 35:31 NLT
³¹ … murderers must always be put to death. 

• It was customary in Israel for a murder victim’s next of kin to avenge the blood of his relative by putting the murderer to death.

The role of a king.

He doesn’t deserve to inherit his family’s property.’

Note: Absalom is next in line as David’s heir.

They want to extinguish the only coal I have left, and my husband’s name and family will disappear from the face of the earth.” 

The woman, pretending to be a grieving widow, tells David that one of her sons killed the other in a quarrel, and now her family demands justice by executing the remaining son. She pleads for mercy, arguing that executing her only living son would leave her without an heir.

The execution of her son would leave the widow totally desolate. 

David’s role as a father.

⁸ “Leave it to me,” the king told her. “Go home, and I’ll see to it that no one touches him.”

David was touched by the widow’s story.

• David, moved by the story, promises protection for her son, showing his inclination toward mercy rather than strict justice.

In the case presented blood revenge would wipe out the entire family line, which was something Israelite law and the custom tried to avoid if at all possible.

David certainly had received God’s mercy in place of God’s strict justice as called for in Old Testament Law.

⁹ “Oh, thank you, my lord the king,” the woman from Tekoa replied. “If you are criticized for helping me, let the blame fall on me and on my father’s house, and let the king and his throne be innocent.”

Theoretically, David could be accused of preventing justice from being carried out.

Numbers 35:31 NLT
³¹ … murderers must always be put to death. 

The role of a king.

• The woman now presses David for a greater commitment of protection. 

¹⁰ “If anyone objects,” the king said, “bring him to me. I can assure you he will never harm you again!”

¹¹ Then she said, “Please swear to me by the Lord your God that you won’t let anyone take vengeance against my son. I want no more bloodshed.”

• The woman wanted David to confirm his promise with an oath in the Lord’s name.

“As surely as the Lord lives,” he replied, “not a hair on your son’s head will be disturbed!”

David responded with a solemn oath.  This binds David to his commitment. 

¹² “Please allow me to ask one more thing of my lord the king,” she said.
“Go ahead and speak,” he responded.
¹³ She replied, “Why don’t you do as much for the people of God as you have promised to do for me?

Many of the people of Israel would have liked to see Absalom pardoned and returned to Jerusalem.

You have convicted yourself in making this decision, because you have refused to bring home your own banished son. 

After securing David’s sympathetic response, the woman shifts the discussion to David’s own situation, subtly accusing him of inconsistency. If David can show mercy to a fictional son, why not extend the same mercy to his real son, Absalom? She emphasizes God’s mercy, suggesting that He devises ways to bring back those who are estranged from Him.  This reflects God’s redemptive nature and foreshadows themes of reconciliation in the New Testament.

• In granting amnesty to an unknown murderer, it was now incumbent on David that he do the same for his own son Absalom.

• David convicted himself in making this decision, because he had refused to bring home his own banished son. (V. 13) 

¹⁴ All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again.

Death is irreversible.

But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him.

God is in the business of reconciliation, always seeking ways to restore the lost rather than cut them off forever.

• God is in the business of reconciliation.

¹⁵ “I have come to plead with my lord the king because people have threatened me. I said to myself, ‘Perhaps the king will listen to me ¹⁶ and rescue us from those who would cut us off from the inheritance God has given us. 

This represents the people David feared who resented what Absalom had done and would have stood against a pardon for him. 

¹⁷ Yes, my lord the king will give us peace of mind again.’ I know that you are like an angel of God in discerning good from evil. May the Lord your God be with you.”

¹⁸ “I must know one thing,” the king replied, “and tell me the truth.”
“Yes, my lord the king,” she responded. 

¹⁹ “Did Joab put you up to this?”

And the woman replied, “My lord the king, how can I deny it? Nobody can hide anything from you. Yes, Joab sent me and told me what to say.  

• David now realizes that Joab orchestrated this entire plea. The woman admits it, acknowledging Joab’s wisdom and strategy. 

²⁰ He did it to place the matter before you in a different light.

• Joab’s intervention demonstrates his political astuteness—he understands the necessity of bringing Absalom back, not just for David’s personal reconciliation but for the stability of the kingdom.

But you are as wise as an angel of God, and you understand everything that happens among us!”

To be continued:

Joab’s scheme successfully persuades David to bring Absalom back, but the reconciliation is incomplete. Reconciliation requires repentance and transformation, which Absalom lacks. This passage sets the stage for further tension between David and Absalom, leading to Absalom’s rebellion.